Miss Luna

You must know I never meant to feel this way, every cell in my body is longing you to stay. But I cannot show you my heart's true notes, 'Cause we started walking different roads. I know I said bad things and cannot take them back, but I said them to protect you, you must know that. I never meant to break you, wish you know that is true. Now everything we had is found and lost, and it all came with a high cost. Baby please stay. I'm shouting all alone since what we had is gone. And like snow falls from the sky Am watching life passing us by. So i'm asking you one more time, baby, please, be only mine I'm returning home facing the empty air, I'm buzzing around trying not to care. My phone is on the table quieter than ever, I'm trying to convince myself it is for the better. You have not called, this feeling is unbearable, but from your point of view, I guess, it's understandable. For our words said were so harsh and fast, we both ...

Half a year it feels like decades like time has been standing still in front of me just half a year during which life loved me, abandoned me and crashed around me I have been imprisoned by my own mind human mind is, in the end, very wicked I have been living in a world surrounded by flames captivated at the borders of insanity in a very twisted place Nowhere to go No one to turn to crying alone, unable to move forward to get away from this living nightmare I hanged myself.... only to wake up to the music of spring It seems, life took me back with open arms kissed me on the forehead set me free. Looking at my reflection I see a smile upon my face and a glow behind my eyes I am finally free.

For a long time. I though I had been lost. Alone in the darkness. Shouting to be rescued. Reaching out to people, for someone to take my hand and pull me to safety From so many I have tried to gain pieces of myself, to make me whole. Not anymore, I have stopped. As if something turned on the light I Suddenly stopped shouting, i stopped crying. I opened my eyes and I stopped blaming I thought I have always been afraid of the darkness. But tonight I rememered I have not I remember when I was younger I took long walks at night. Darkness around me and stars shining upon me. I wasn't afraid back then. Was I whole back then ? I'm sure I was not, but i had something that i seem to have lost along the years. I had my soul and heart. Today, while looking at the dark trees feeling the humid air all around me, I remembered. A part of me, that was shouting alone, came to me smiling like an angel. I am not afraid anymo...

In the mist of the night I'm standing still constant quietness surrounding me caressing my senses calmly I can feel it rising deep inside of me this feeling of being restless looking at the starry sky wishing I could melt into the darkness Where can I find my solitude ? I'm homeless my heart cries silently I close my eyes and listen The night whispers shooting words to me I can feel the coldness on my skin untamed wind  making music with the trees shadows dancing all around me I let out a deep sigh I'm restless Where should I go, what should I do ?

I have been careful  not to let anyone close Build solid walls around my heart Kept my mind focused not letting my feelings get the best of me So,  why on Earth did you enter my life ? Telling me how you want to get closer Have me around when you come home from work Cuddle me through the dark nights Your beautiful words were strong enough to cut down my wall and mess my head I hate that I love you Even we turned out to be just friends I still want you I still think of you I still wait to hear from you Those words you whispered to me Those looks you exchanged with me Those acts of love you gave me Take them back Erase these feelings give back the brigs you took so I can start rebuilding Carefully leave you behind  shouting words of affection which I won't hear anymore Turn back the time don't approach me leave me be Because, I hate that I want you I hate that I think of you I hate that I wait to hear from you But still ...

It must have been hard for you was it not ? You loved him genuinely  more than others when his lies came out you must have crashed down But you hid it so well from us Never did we suspect that you must have had your heart crushed to ashes Baby girl, only fourteen you hid it all so well You have already had to go through a hard life with a heavy burden on your shoulders still you are smiling like the sun It makes me wonder who is really taking care of who This facade of yours has been built so damn well Baby girl, I have a dire feeling even we would try our hardest to ease your pain we cannot spare you from heartache and sadness. It makes me feel so powerless But Baby girl always remember we got your back and we love you dearly. No matter what till the end of times and even after

What have you done sold my independence  with green cash Put a " Use as you like" stamp  on my forehead And send me off with words: " Bon Voyage, Mia Bella Bambina." Now I'm drifting Been here and there many hands have touched me dozens of caresses stroked my skin thousand kisses pressed against my lips Baby of mine You send me so far away Never wondered how I am Not once called my name again I'm a Jane Doe Gone, Forgotten, Dead I have not once given up humiliating names, slaps, words I have shut them all out of my mind And I have continued to wait While people come and go, I have waited This prison is closing nearer and nearer  sometimes it's harder to breathe please, come soon. Every day I wake up I'm used and tossed away by daybreak                Why haven't you searched me               Baby of mine You send me so far away Never wondered how I am Not on...

You know I talk to myself when I'm alone I pretend to be surrounded by people I love and admire and I have various discussions with them daily It fills me with joy to be able to talk my heart out laugh from the bottom of my heart and act silly in front of all of you I feel, to some extent I'm always wearing a mask.. My family, friends, co-workers None of them knows my wicked little heart So when I'm alone I can let my inner guard down have a laugh of myself with all these important people You may think it's bizarre But for me It's a gateway to Heaven: I have joked around with Will sung to Choi and cried my sea of tears to Jamie And all these people love me nevertheless They will never deceive me Now from my point of view That's pretty great. Eh ?

Ok, Dear readers, This is the first out of three poems I'm gonna be posting during the following days. I want to use this opportunity to Thank All you people who have taken the time out of your day to read my writings.  I appreciate this very much. Thank you...And a very big hug !   I can't make myself to shut down my computer because your brown eyes are glaring at me My desktop is filled with your pictures I thought I had made up my mind My life is Solo yet with your crooked smile you have entered my body Breathing becomes harder I'm grasping my heart and looking into your eyes. I cannot turn off my computer For I would lose your face looking at me so innocently  Why you had to enter my world? Before everything was much less complicated Now all I can think of is you

She walks the street holding her head up high Not lacking any pride. Many times she has been trampled down hateful words said out of share jealousy hurtful punches from all directions trying to kill her individuality, break her strong will and bury her six feet under. All those years of suffering Quietly fighting alone against so many. But look at her. Look how she glows today Never lost her way When they cut her hair she shaved them all off When they hit her she turned the other cheek When they shouted, yelled and badmouthed she tattooed those words to her arm. She walks the street holding her head up high knowing She never gave her wings away Never lost the battle She is God's greatest creation So strong, So happy So human. So us

Minä muistan kuinka metsätie kukki, Muistan miten aurinko lämmitti puiden lomitse, Muistan miltä kuoppainen soratie tuntui pyörän renkaiden alla. Mutta syvimmin minä muistan miten naurumme kaikui kaikkialla vielä pitkään sen jälkeen, kun olimme jo lähteneet

You ask me time and time again "Darling why you cry ?" and time after time I cannot answer I turn my back and walk to another room. My love how could I tell you From you I found my speechless destiny I'm afraid you will vanish These tears keep falling This is my soul, it has a lot of sadness. This is my heart, sewed back together after being broken But most of all This is my mind, recovering from illness I cry, I laugh and cry again you ask why Why am I this quiet all of a sudden Speak only few words Why am I laughing without reason My world This is depressive This is manic This is me Could you ever love me for all my faults ?

Im afraid to close my eyes, even one minute without looking at you, Will you disappear? Are you just a beautiful dream of my silly imagination desperately needing to be loved ? I have walked so many miles, my wings have been cut and im unable to fly anymore. Baby don't go. Stay here. Beside me, with me, in me. My sweet lullaby, you make me feel that I can jump higher. Again and again I'm ok. I feel good with you Stay in my heart, grasp it without ever letting go. When you turn your back to walk away i want to reach out to you. Stop you. Don't go, Please Stay. Don't let this moment come to an end. Don't leave me crying. Come to me. Come back to me. Be mine forever.

Donne-moi ton coeur, N'arrete pas, Moi, Je t'aime toujours. Strip your soul bare n' naked for me I connect it into mine we can share an Earthly bound, Those wings you have grown symbolizing your God-given freedom tear them apart one, sweet, golden feather at a time, For your beautiful beating heart, lock it away in a bird cage to which only I hold the key, And break your spinal cord so you cannot walk no more only I have the right to enjoy your enchanting posture. Finally breathe breathe only my air for if you will not it better you not breathe at all.

It is certainly uncanny how you move in me Time leaps forward, running madly like two young doves in love Certainly, my dear it must be uncanny Your vivid eyes at times, when I catch you looking at me, restless, undying joy it fills my soul Ceartainly, my love life must be uncanny Here lies my true happiness hearts melted together world dancing around us, waltzing gracefully Certainly, darling Everything must be uncanny

Serpents I can see through your appearances though you have worn your masks well I finally found out how you have used me for your gain No more am I to be treated like a marionette and no, I don't feel bad about it No matter how hard you accuse me of being selfish I'm Breaking Free

Look at me look into my eyes and tell me tell me I am your only one, one who makes you so happy happy to be alive here and now now is the time for you to come clean, clean up your act and don't be afraid to be hurt no more, for I ain't like them them, who used your heart without shame shame you had to go thrugh that all, for all is now going to change change for better, brighter, happier life life with me, because baby baby, I love you with all my heart.

The sound of you breathing freezes time around me I close my eyes and lay on your chest listening the sweet music your beating heart makes. All worries vanish scars, made by others heal away and I'm happy to be here next to you my tutor, my friend, my man --To Sam, Come over--