Miss Luna

For a long time. I though I had been lost. Alone in the darkness. Shouting to be rescued. Reaching out to people, for someone to take my hand and pull me to safety From so many I have tried to gain pieces of myself, to make me whole. Not anymore, I have stopped. As if something turned on the light I Suddenly stopped shouting, i stopped crying. I opened my eyes and I stopped blaming I thought I have always been afraid of the darkness. But tonight I rememered I have not I remember when I was younger I took long walks at night. Darkness around me and stars shining upon me. I wasn't afraid back then. Was I whole back then ? I'm sure I was not, but i had something that i seem to have lost along the years. I had my soul and heart. Today, while looking at the dark trees feeling the humid air all around me, I remembered. A part of me, that was shouting alone, came to me smiling like an angel. I am not afraid anymo...

In the mist of the night I'm standing still constant quietness surrounding me caressing my senses calmly I can feel it rising deep inside of me this feeling of being restless looking at the starry sky wishing I could melt into the darkness Where can I find my solitude ? I'm homeless my heart cries silently I close my eyes and listen The night whispers shooting words to me I can feel the coldness on my skin untamed wind  making music with the trees shadows dancing all around me I let out a deep sigh I'm restless Where should I go, what should I do ?

I have been careful  not to let anyone close Build solid walls around my heart Kept my mind focused not letting my feelings get the best of me So,  why on Earth did you enter my life ? Telling me how you want to get closer Have me around when you come home from work Cuddle me through the dark nights Your beautiful words were strong enough to cut down my wall and mess my head I hate that I love you Even we turned out to be just friends I still want you I still think of you I still wait to hear from you Those words you whispered to me Those looks you exchanged with me Those acts of love you gave me Take them back Erase these feelings give back the brigs you took so I can start rebuilding Carefully leave you behind  shouting words of affection which I won't hear anymore Turn back the time don't approach me leave me be Because, I hate that I want you I hate that I think of you I hate that I wait to hear from you But still ...

It must have been hard for you was it not ? You loved him genuinely  more than others when his lies came out you must have crashed down But you hid it so well from us Never did we suspect that you must have had your heart crushed to ashes Baby girl, only fourteen you hid it all so well You have already had to go through a hard life with a heavy burden on your shoulders still you are smiling like the sun It makes me wonder who is really taking care of who This facade of yours has been built so damn well Baby girl, I have a dire feeling even we would try our hardest to ease your pain we cannot spare you from heartache and sadness. It makes me feel so powerless But Baby girl always remember we got your back and we love you dearly. No matter what till the end of times and even after

What have you done sold my independence  with green cash Put a " Use as you like" stamp  on my forehead And send me off with words: " Bon Voyage, Mia Bella Bambina." Now I'm drifting Been here and there many hands have touched me dozens of caresses stroked my skin thousand kisses pressed against my lips Baby of mine You send me so far away Never wondered how I am Not once called my name again I'm a Jane Doe Gone, Forgotten, Dead I have not once given up humiliating names, slaps, words I have shut them all out of my mind And I have continued to wait While people come and go, I have waited This prison is closing nearer and nearer  sometimes it's harder to breathe please, come soon. Every day I wake up I'm used and tossed away by daybreak                Why haven't you searched me               Baby of mine You send me so far away Never wondered how I am Not on...

You know I talk to myself when I'm alone I pretend to be surrounded by people I love and admire and I have various discussions with them daily It fills me with joy to be able to talk my heart out laugh from the bottom of my heart and act silly in front of all of you I feel, to some extent I'm always wearing a mask.. My family, friends, co-workers None of them knows my wicked little heart So when I'm alone I can let my inner guard down have a laugh of myself with all these important people You may think it's bizarre But for me It's a gateway to Heaven: I have joked around with Will sung to Choi and cried my sea of tears to Jamie And all these people love me nevertheless They will never deceive me Now from my point of view That's pretty great. Eh ?

Ok, Dear readers, This is the first out of three poems I'm gonna be posting during the following days. I want to use this opportunity to Thank All you people who have taken the time out of your day to read my writings.  I appreciate this very much. Thank you...And a very big hug !   I can't make myself to shut down my computer because your brown eyes are glaring at me My desktop is filled with your pictures I thought I had made up my mind My life is Solo yet with your crooked smile you have entered my body Breathing becomes harder I'm grasping my heart and looking into your eyes. I cannot turn off my computer For I would lose your face looking at me so innocently  Why you had to enter my world? Before everything was much less complicated Now all I can think of is you